Translation: If you are upset about my not calling, the real cause is your own insecurity, not anything I did.

Two: Only say “I’m sorry,” when you mean it and can specify exactly what you are apologizing for

When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:

• immediately explaining why we did it,

• telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,

• bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem
  Know your Man: His Mother
  "He who takes the child by the hand takes the mother by the heart." Danish Proverb“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest." Irish ProverbIn the movie Runaway Jury, Gene Hackman’s character says to the cab driver: “it is better to have an unhappy mother than to have an uncooperative wife.” I fail to agree. A man’s mother is untouchable. She stands on a pedestal and we should accept that. His mother is a great person, no matter what we think. She is also a great part of his life, or at least she should be. She is also a great cook, even if you cook better.<
  A powerful tool for health as we approach the new year can be to focus on giving and/or receiving only real apologies when we want to heal a rift with a family member, friend, or co-worker. We hear apologies all the time, but I don’t think many of them are sincere. An apology has to be real to heal.

  Trang Lei spent the day helping Martha buy furniture and art for her remodeled living room, but Martha never even offered to buy Trang Lei’s lunch and so she felt unappreciated. Later when she told Martha she felt hurt, Martha said, “I’m sorry. I was just so excited about what I was buying that I didn’t even think about it.” Trang Lei did not feel better. In fact, she felt worse.

• What was wrong with Martha’s apology?

  Martha’s apology came with a built-in excuse, implying that however she behaved was unintentional—beyond her conscious control. Moreover, Martha has an expectation that Trang Lei will accept the excuse. Thus, Martha perpetuates the original problem by continuing to be more focused on herself than on Trang Lei. I call this kind of apology “Sorry-Excuse.”

  Even Martha wasn’t consciously manipulating, her goal was not to take responsibility but to find a way out of it. In most cases, if you don’t accept other people’s excuses when they apologize, they will quickly get irrupted at you, blaming you for not being understanding.

  When we receive a counterfeit apology we often sense it and so rather than the hurt being healed, it is deepened—as in the old saying, “adding insult to injury.” I think almost all of us give such apologies. And we model it for our children.

  Guidelines for making real apologies:

  One: Identify common formats for apology that are" counterfeit."

  If you clearly various types of bogus apologies, it will help you recognize when you give or receive an one. Here are some examples of common phrasing.

  • “Sorry—Excuse”

    
    Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call—I’ve been really busy.”

    
    Translation: Please be understanding about the fact that other things were more important than you.”

  • “Sorry—Denial of Intent”

    
    Example: “I’m sorry you took it that way. It wasn’t what I meant.”

    
    Translation: I think it’s too bad that you had difficulty understanding me correctly.

    
    Example: “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

    
    Translation: I can’t think of anything I did wrong, but if you think so, I’d be happy to apologize so I can get back in your good graces.

  • “Sorry—Blame”

    
    Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. Have you been feeling Insecure about our relationship lately?”

    
    Translation: If you are upset about my not calling, the real cause is your own insecurity, not anything I did.

  Two: Only say “I’m sorry,” when you mean it and can specify exactly what you are apologizing for

  When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:

  • immediately explaining why we did it,

  • telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,

  • bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem.
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    A tireless leader for his people with over three and a half decades of service protecting Israel from hostility towards Jews in the region has a last wish. His wish is for peace in the region and a stop to International Terrorism, suicide bus bombing and wars. Aerial Sharon always was concerned about the stability in the region and the strength of Israel’s army. He was a hardliner and a balance during the Yasser Arafat versus Aerial Sharon years. There were hundreds of attacks on both sides and made each leader concerned for his people. When Yasser Arafat had expired an era had nearly ended, but the struggle continu
    . In fact, she felt worse.

  • What was wrong with Martha’s apology?

    Martha’s apology came with a built-in excuse, implying that however she behaved was unintentional—beyond her conscious control. Moreover, Martha has an expectation that Trang Lei will accept the excuse. Thus, Martha perpetuates the original problem by continuing to be more focused on herself than on Trang Lei. I call this kind of apology “Sorry-Excuse.”

    Even Martha wasn’t consciously manipulating, her goal was not to take responsibility but to find a way out of it. In most cases, if you don’t accept other people’s excuses when they apologize, they will quickly get irrupted at you, blaming you for not being understanding.

    When we receive a counterfeit apology we often sense it and so rather than the hurt being healed, it is deepened—as in the old saying, “adding insult to injury.” I think almost all of us give such apologies. And we model it for our children.

    Guidelines for making real apologies:

    One: Identify common formats for apology that are" counterfeit."

    If you clearly various types of bogus apologies, it will help you recognize when you give or receive an one. Here are some examples of common phrasing.

    • “Sorry—Excuse”

      
      Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call—I’ve been really busy.”

      
      Translation: Please be understanding about the fact that other things were more important than you.”

    • “Sorry—Denial of Intent”

      
      Example: “I’m sorry you took it that way. It wasn’t what I meant.”

      
      Translation: I think it’s too bad that you had difficulty understanding me correctly.

      
      Example: “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

      
      Translation: I can’t think of anything I did wrong, but if you think so, I’d be happy to apologize so I can get back in your good graces.

    • “Sorry—Blame”

      
      Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. Have you been feeling Insecure about our relationship lately?”

      
      Translation: If you are upset about my not calling, the real cause is your own insecurity, not anything I did.

    Two: Only say “I’m sorry,” when you mean it and can specify exactly what you are apologizing for

    When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:

    • immediately explaining why we did it,

    • telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,

    • bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem
      Exploring Forex Trading Online
      As with many other genres of investing, the ability to trade online has revolutionized foreign exchange trading. Forex trading online has not only opened the door to more information, but it has increased the speed with which a forex trader can access the information. In addition, the practice of day trading forex has also become very popular. Without the ability to trade online with up to the minute trading quotes, day trading would not be possible.Forex trading online is possible because traders have access to more information about currencies than they have ever had. With just a few clicks of the mouse, a
      at you, blaming you for not being understanding.

      When we receive a counterfeit apology we often sense it and so rather than the hurt being healed, it is deepened—as in the old saying, “adding insult to injury.” I think almost all of us give such apologies. And we model it for our children.

      Guidelines for making real apologies:

      One: Identify common formats for apology that are" counterfeit."

      If you clearly various types of bogus apologies, it will help you recognize when you give or receive an one. Here are some examples of common phrasing.

      • “Sorry—Excuse”

        
        Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call—I’ve been really busy.”

        
        Translation: Please be understanding about the fact that other things were more important than you.”

      • “Sorry—Denial of Intent”

        
        Example: “I’m sorry you took it that way. It wasn’t what I meant.”

        
        Translation: I think it’s too bad that you had difficulty understanding me correctly.

        
        Example: “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

        
        Translation: I can’t think of anything I did wrong, but if you think so, I’d be happy to apologize so I can get back in your good graces.

      • “Sorry—Blame”

        
        Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. Have you been feeling Insecure about our relationship lately?”

        
        Translation: If you are upset about my not calling, the real cause is your own insecurity, not anything I did.

      Two: Only say “I’m sorry,” when you mean it and can specify exactly what you are apologizing for

      When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:

      • immediately explaining why we did it,

      • telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,

      • bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem
        How to Grow Your Internet Business III
        A good ploy is to make an offer of a free ebook or other product relevant to the product you are selling. Or, you could offer a free email course, but you must offer something that attracts the person visiting your website. You then request their email address and name so that you can deliver it, and mention that you will be sending them any other information that you think would be useful to them.Once they fill in the form for their free gift, they are added to your list. Once your list is big enough you will be able to send mass emails, and make offers to them. You could offer discounts on your latest pr
        ally busy.”

        
        Translation: Please be understanding about the fact that other things were more important than you.”

      • “Sorry—Denial of Intent”

        
        Example: “I’m sorry you took it that way. It wasn’t what I meant.”

        
        Translation: I think it’s too bad that you had difficulty understanding me correctly.

        
        Example: “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

        
        Translation: I can’t think of anything I did wrong, but if you think so, I’d be happy to apologize so I can get back in your good graces.

      • “Sorry—Blame”

        
        Example: “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. Have you been feeling Insecure about our relationship lately?”

        
        Translation: If you are upset about my not calling, the real cause is your own insecurity, not anything I did.

      Two: Only say “I’m sorry,” when you mean it and can specify exactly what you are apologizing for

      When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:

      • immediately explaining why we did it,

      • telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,

      • bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem
        Industrial Design Registration System in India
        LegislationThe Indian law of designs is enshrined in the Designs Act, 2000. The Act seeks to provide for the registration of designs in India. The rights granted under the Act are operative in the whole of india.What is a DesignA DESIGN is defined as the features of shape, configuration, pattern, ornament or composition of lines or colours applied to any article by any industrial process or means, whether manual, mechanical or chemical, separate or combined, which in the finished article appeal to and are judged solely by the eye, but does not include any mode or principle of construction or any
        ely?”

        
        Translation: If you are upset about my not calling, the real cause is your own insecurity, not anything I did.

      Two: Only say “I’m sorry,” when you mean it and can specify exactly what you are apologizing for

      When we give what I believe is a “healthy” or authentic apology, we can state clearly what we did that was disrespectful or inconsiderate without:

      • immediately explaining why we did it,

      • telling the person that however it looked or sounded, it wasn’t our real intention, or,

      • bringing up some other issue that suggests that the other person contributed to or caused the problem.

      For example, instead of focusing on why she didn’t buy Trang-Lei’s lunch—her excuse, Martha could have taken full responsibility, saying,

      “I’m so sorry I hurt you. There is no excuse for me to forget to buy your lunch. Even that would have been a small thank you for how much you helped me. And you spent your only day off doing it.”

      Here, Martha uses her apology to show her real appreciation as well as her sadness that she didn’t do so earlier.

      Three: Decline to accept an apology that is not given sincerely.

      When you accept an apology, and then walk away knowing it wasn’t real, you enter a world of make-believe where you pretend an issue is resolved while harboring resentments. Gently, firmly, without anger, you can decline a hollow apology. For example:

      • If you believe that I simply misunderstood you, then I would rather not have an apology from you.

      • Only if you believe you did something hurtful would I want one.

      When you refuse to accept an insincere apology, you refuse to surrender to being manipulated or pacified and you hold the other person more accountable—without having to argue or try to force an apology. You are likely to feel greater confidence.

      Real Apologies Build Character and Respect

      If we can change how we give and receive apologies, we can become less defensive, gain insight, grow wiser, and strengthen all of our relationships. We can also, then, be a strong model for others, including our children, teaching them that real apologies show strength of character, gain the respect of others, and have great healing power.